Video Game Week

You fuckers and your "The Game". Ever since I read about it, I've been losing every thirty minutes. And fuck telling someone every time I lose.

I've got this little rule I've set for myself : I don't do anything more often than I drink. That means, if I lose "The Game" twenty-nine times a day, then I'll be damned if I'm not going to drink thirty times. I tell you, my liver can't handle it! So fuck "The Game," fuck the stoners who invented it, and fuck the stoner who told me about it.

Now, video games. You may remember, sometime around when you were seven or eight, a period of complete and total awesomeness. You stared into the TV, your fingers danced and pounded, and you fell over exahusted when it was all over. No, Pokemon came out five years later. I'm talking about


Yes, Street Fighter II was the granddaddy of all fighting games, but I don't need to tell you about it because you already know. Even if you never played video games as a kid, you have seen this game and probably played at least half a round. I don't care what you say. You have. Maybe some friend's house, or maybe at some arcade. And don't tell me they don't have arcades in Alaska, or wherever the fuck you grew up. I won't listen. It's fucking STREET FIGHTER II!!

Anyway, everyone has a favorite SF2 character. Personally, I think they're all pathetic, except for Blanka, because he drinks blood, and Ken.

Why Ken? Let's see... average height, incredibly ripped, blonde hair, looks good in red...

what kind of idiot wouldn't want to look like that, even if it's only a video game.


Oh, and I just wanted to give a shout-out to my bro, Vlad. While the Als were dealing with their parents, Vlad and I got to know each other better through our favorite pasttime: alcohol. (Edit : Susan also had her parents to deal with, so...) I thought I had an iron stomach, but Vlad, you drank me under the table. I salute you, sir.

-Chaz