Oh, Alan

There really is something to the hippie way of life, Alan. I know this isn't the first time we've gone out smoking, but every time we do, I fall asleep in the best fucking mood. Booze isn't really the drug of happy people. People drink to forget. They drink to forget their job, they drink to forget their wife (or husband), and they drink so that they can become somebody they can't be sober. At 5'o'clock, America turns into a country of Mr. Hydes. They drink to let the monsters out.

I say "they" like I haven't done it, but I have. Everybody has monsters inside, somewhere.

Since things have been pretty quiet around Suite 3100 (the blog and the actual suite), I guess I'll give you an update. Just to be fair, I'm not really the "go-to" guy for keeping track of people's emotional lives; I'm really only able to see what people do when they are around.

Okay, so Vlad lives in the library now. He asked around--professors, deans, and the head librarian--and made a list of books he should read before starting next semester as a English major. That was almost two weeks ago, I think. He stops by, every once in a while, to visit the suite. Even then, he turns the TV to CNN as soon as he comes in, and you can tell he's only half listening when you talk to him. Whatever happened to him has turned him into some sort of sponge for information. If he could plug the internet straight into his head, I'm sure he would; I wouldn't be surprised if he's working on a way to do it. Also, last time I asked, Vlad isn't planning on going home for the holiday break. Such is his dedication.

Of all the things on Vlad's to-do list, there's been one thing that he's had trouble getting done. He's been visiting the suite partially to see me and Alan, but the main reason is because he's trying to reconsile with Alfonzo. Old Alfie got pretty secretive when Vlad and I came back from Kansas. I haven't seen him since the news came down that Vlad was becoming an English major. It seems pretty clear that Alfonzo is planning something, but he's got so many arch-nemeses that he could be after any one of them. My best guess is that he's at the mall with Cliff. He's definitely not with that gothic high school girl anymore, unless she gets off on writing death threats to him on her blog. Alfonzo, always a mystery to me.

And Alan. Alan and I have been around the suite, mostly. He spends more time here than he used to; less time over in Dauten, either due to having too much work or being too lazy to make the trip as often. We try to watch a movie every other night--something neither of us has seen. As it turns out, I've seen pretty much everything he hasn't (action, western, slasher flicks, and comedies like American Pie) and he's seen everything that I haven't (indie stuff, chick flicks, stuff they call "pussy fare" down at the frats). Sometimes we think of something we both haven't seen, but mostly one of us ends up making the other one watch the essentials. I think he really liked "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly," and I thought "The Royal Tenenbaums" was pretty funny (I didn't know Owen Wilson did serious movies).

But enough about movies. Alan has been posting occasionally, so there isn't much I can say about him that you don't already probably know. He seems stressed out and tired, but who isn't at the end of semester. I haven't seen Marina around as much, but she takes, like, ten language courses. She's probably lying dead, somewhere, under a pile of _______-to-English dictionaries.

Humans are not supposed to live in weather this cold. It never got this cold last year, did it? Today it was 17 degrees, but it felt like 5. Tomorrow's high is a whopping 28 degrees; I'm sweating already!

As much as I love college (and I fucking love college), I can't wait to get back to Cali, because God has obviously abandoned the Midwest.

-Chaz