Not Feeling It

I dunno. I say that a lot, don't I?

I dunno. I'm just not feeling it anymore. Things are getting more complicated as time goes on. All of a sudden, I'm not just talking about banging random freshmen and prefrosh. I'm talking about real problems and emotions and shit?!

And this sort of thing is new. So sure, writing a couple times a week about how dumb and funny my life is was one thing, but I haven't got a clue how to talk about, I dunno, feelings, I guess.

I'll be back in LA in less than 20 days, and then what? As little work as I do at Wash U, I really don't have much of a life outside of this place. Am I supposed to get a job? Am I supposed to watch TV and get fat? Maybe just hang out at the beach picking up anything that bends over far enough?

I mean fuck! This is the sort of shit that I expect from Alfonzo or Alan, but not the Chaz!! I've crossed the line between selfishness and self-absorbedness, and let me tell you, there's no reason to sit around complaining. It doesn't fix anything.

Maybe I should take a page out of Alfonzo's book, find a cause to support. I mean, I'm not asking for Alan to start poisoning people so I can pledge to stop him (no offense, Alfonzo, but it sure takes a lot to get you up in arms). I just need a life. Something I can do, other than be Chaz.

Cause being Chaz isn't much fun these days.